Kehidupan setelah Menikah

This writing is an apology to myself. Yes, I am sorry to myself that I haven’t published anything in this blog for a quite long time 🙁 My mind is so occupied with life after marriage. I was so excited to start the new chapter of my life. Got a husband with full of extras. New house, new ride, new families. But, it isn’t always about happiness. I got to do a lot of things by myself now. Like paying the bills, cooking, contacting people, making appointments, going somewhere, and so on without my parents. 

I came to a point where I think I am totally immature, stupid, and poor. At least, poorer than my parents 🙁 hanya ingin mengingatkan kepada anak muda gaji UMR ke bawah seperti saya, FINANCIAL PROBLEM is real. Meskipun rezeki sudah diatur, membuat rencana dan mempertimbangkan pengeluaran itu masih tetap diperlukan supaya tidak memiskinkan mentalitas. 

Now I understand why a lot of young couples love showing off their achievement, happiness, jalan manja, but at the same time they have a lot of debt, such as cicilan, tagihan nunggak, dan pinjol. 

We want to tell everyone, especially family, that we are fine, we can manage our household, “don’t worry about us!” There was a time when I really needed a cash but I won’t tell or ask anyone and at the same time I really wanted to give some to other family members. So, I took some money out of my savings. I was happy I could give something to someone, but I was sad too because I couldn’t control myself.

To me, tabungan digunakan untuk keadaan darurat dan mendesak bukan untuk terlihat mampu Sering terjadi tabrakan antara keinginan, kebutuhan dan gengsi (in a negative way). Tidak mau meminta atau melewatkan moment untuk berhemat, padahal lagi butuh dan kurang. Akhirnya ada yang dikorbankan dan berpotensi menjadi masalah besar di kemudian hari.

Jadi, teringat ketika dulu bertanya pada seorang kakak yang sudah menikah, “Kenapa gak bilang ke ibu kalau butuh uang?” Dan respon beliau hanya “hmm… :/” enggan sekali meminta, padahal lagi butuh banget. Anehnya, beliau malah lebih berani meminjam uang pada orang lain (selain keluarga dekat). 

Saya yang pada saat itu masih single dan hidup bersama orang tua tidak memiliki beban ketika meminta uang untuk membeli gadget atau uang jalan-jalan. Nah, finally after this marriage I know the burden. I don’t want to ask, but give. Walaupun penghasilan jauh lebih sedikit dari orang tua, terdapat perasaan tidak mau meminta atau berharap diberi. Takut membuat mereka khawatir. 

I know that being married doesn’t mean that I leave my own family or they leave me to be alone with another man. It is just that every decision is now made by me and my husband. Unfortunately, my husband is not always around and at some moments I have to decide things quickly or immediately. 

There are often emotional battles inside, “Did I do the right thing? Did I do it correctly? What would be the worst scenario in the aftermath of my decision?” Terlebih ada pemikiran, “kalau saya terlihat ‘kekurangan’, saya takut mereka berfikir suami saya tidak mampu menafkahi dengan baik atau saya tidak mampu mengatur urusan domestik.”

I supposed we need to agree that mengurus rumah dan rumah tangga tidaklah mudah sekalipun tidak bekerja/berkarir. Selain urusan keuangan, ada juga yang hal-hal yang lebih besar dalam berkehidupan seperti komunikasi, tanggung jawab, inisiatif, dan kesabaran. Those things we can’t buy with money, but require a lot of time, energy, and consistency as they are not developed instantly.

Well, I don’t have any intention to complain. I guess I’m still adapting to some changes in my life. Ada perubahan besar dalam hidup yang mengganggu kebiasaan sehari-hari, termasuk kegiatan menulis di blog.

Actually, I had so many ideas to write but ended up in the draft folder, unfinished. This writing will revive my writing habit. Bismillah.

Have a nice holiday,
Love you all.

 

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